he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize