I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
