so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
