That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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