i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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