He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
