I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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