I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
