ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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