so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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