the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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