Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize