Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
