Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
