The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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