hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
