There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
