Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
