you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
