i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
