Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
