My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
