My liver just broke up with me...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
