Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
