No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
