I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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