ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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