Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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