I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
