I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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