the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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