There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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