No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
