You're completely useless in the revolution.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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