we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
