We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
