Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
