There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
