Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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