there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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