I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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