I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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