when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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