This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
