Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
