Pregnant stripper...not hot.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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