3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Moan for me like Helen Keller
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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