Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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