Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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