GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
