feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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