great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
