We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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