new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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