When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize