I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
