Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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