U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
