I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
