I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
