My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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